Eggnog Reviews

So Delicious Coconut Milk Holiday Nog Review

Abraham Williams — Sat, 24 Dec 2016 14:40:09 GMT

2/5 eggs: You’d have to be coconuts to drink much more of this

At first I was surprised at how decent So Delicious nog was. But coming back a few days later, I’m struggling to get down additional swigs. The first few seconds has a nice festive nog flavor. Unfortunately that’s quickly followed up by the coconut oil aftertaste. In small samples this #TwoEggs nog is tolerable but make it quick.

Purchased and consumed in Madison, WI

Bhakti Holiday Spiced Chai Nog Review

Abraham Williams — Fri, 23 Dec 2016 21:54:44 GMT

2/5 eggs: Holiday spice and everything nice

Chai nog is one of the more specialized nogs you’ll see reviewed around here. This poses some additional challenges for our nogxpert mouth feels and 100% unbiased opinions. But life is full of hurdles and we struggle on one swig at a time.

Upon first twist of the cap, your senses will quickly be assailed by the strong scent of chai spices. The taste fairly well parallels the smell with a soft burning sensation down the back of your throat. It’s not painful, just chai-like.

Thick and creamy are how I would not describe Bhakti. It’s almost actually so not eggnog like that I’m putting it at #TwoEggs

Purchased and consumed in Madison, WI

Sassy Cow Egg Nog Review

Abraham Williams — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 14:12:54 GMT

5/5 eggs: The best in the Midwest

This local Wisconsin favorite dairy farm knows how to nog along. There is little to complain about other than “it’s all gone” because you wolfed it down. Actually Sassy Cow’s limited Midwest distribution is something you can complain about.

With it’s thick and creamy base this #FiveEggs nog won’t disappoint. The flavor is real and doesn’t have any of the liquid plastic Twin Pines ships in their cartons. A good balance of nutmeg holiday feelings is all you’ll have to worry about.

Purchased and delightfully consumed in Madison, WI

Bhakti Holiday Spiced Chai Nog Review

Will Strinz — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 23:18:17 GMT

2/5 eggs: Does what it says on the tin

The Chai is strong in this one. As is the cloying pseudo-sweetness. On the one hand, deserves some credit for a passable performance in the Vegan/DairyFree/GlutenFree/JoyFree category. On the other hand, I’d gladly eat raw chai spice in preference to this nog.

Twin Pines Holiday Nogg Review

Abraham Williams — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 23:12:48 GMT

1/5 eggs: The party favorite when there’s no other option

It’s like drinking sugar trying to cover up the flavor of liquid plastic. You should avoid this. #OneEggs

Purchased and unfortunately consumed in Madison, WI

C.F. Burger “Colonial Style” Custard Nog Review

Will Strinz — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 21:37:37 GMT

3/5 eggs: Better than you might expect

Actually eminently acceptable. Mouthfeel definitely bears out the “Custard” name, giving this nog a rich and satisfying flavor. Aftertaste trends more toward the saccharine end of the scale, foaminess is ultimately unsatisfying, and a distinctive lack of richness in the flavor is clearly present. Still, a cut above your standard store bought nog.

Kalona Organic Classic Eggnog Review

Abraham Williams — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 20:54:39 GMT

4/5 eggs: Real eggnog, real good

Kalona makes a good eggnog with a thick consistency that is enjoyable to consume. When you buy Kalona you can see layers of nutmeg in the bottom in need of a good shake. That’s always a good sign that what you are getting isn’t full of a bunch of weird mixing agents.

Although the taste is very real and doesn’t feel at all artificial, it’s heavy on the vanilla side. That’s not a bad thing, just less eggnog like. The over the top vanilla drops Kalona to #FourEggs.

Purchased and consumed in Madison, WI

Twin Pines Holiday Nogg Review

Will Strinz — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 20:11:53 GMT

1/5 eggs: A low bar to calibrate your tastebuds with.

Tastes of watered down Splenda with added dishwater for foaminess. Faint hints of antiseptic flavoring (may be the ground nutmeg, which is the second to least most common ingredient, before yellow dye)

Would rate zero eggs if our scale allowed it.

One comment from another of our esteemed critics: “Gutter trash not fit for vagrant dogs”

C.F Burger Custard Nog Review

Abraham Williams — Sat, 17 Dec 2016 18:41:02 GMT

3/5 eggs: Liquid. Frozen. Custard.

Liquid. Frozen. Custard.

That’s pretty much all there is to say about this custard nog.

It’s got a thick consistency that’s top notch but without any sort of nutmeg spicing whatsoever. Custard nog leaves a lot to the imagination.

If you’re OK with a little artificial aftertaste, it won’t take very much of this #ThreeEggs nog to cut a lot of whiskey.

Purchased and consumed in Madison, WI

Silk Nog Original Review

Abraham Williams — Fri, 16 Dec 2016 16:58:29 GMT

3/5 eggs: Putting the Soy in Soylent Night

You know how you get those cravings for a succulent Tyrannosaurus steak but all you have is boring old cow steak? That’s kind of like how Silk Nog is.

Or maybe it’s not really like that at all since real eggnog does exist.

As far as how Silk Nog compares, it’s not very thick like an eggnog should be. In fact it’s very much like soy milk just a little more festive. So really if you like soy milk, Silk Nog is a good option to check out.

Not much in the way of spices to be found in Silk Nog though. Maybe there is some nutmeg included but I sure couldn’t find it.

If you like soy milk you should like this #ThreeEggs holiday version of it.

Purchased and consumed in Madison, WI

C.F. Burger Creamery Old Fashioned Egg Nog Review

Abraham Williams — Tue, 13 Dec 2016 16:18:52 GMT

3/5 eggs: I scream, you scream, we all scream for eggnog!

I’m going to categorize this eggnog as a dessert variant because it’s sweeter than most. In fact it has a slight hint of strawberry ice cream. Not bad in itself but eggnog is generally pretty sweet already and doesn’t need any extra sugar kicks. I am tempted to get some triple chocolate brownies to drown in some C.F. Burger and Baileys though.

Bring lots of your own nutmeg for this meh but not terrible #ThreeEggs nog.

Purchased in Madison, WI

Red Elephant Eggnog Truffle Review

Abraham Williams — Fri, 09 Dec 2016 20:28:24 GMT

3/5 eggs: Trade comfort for convenience this holiday season

Having eggnog in niblet form is incredibly convenient, probably too convenient. And if the chocolate was better this would be a dangerous combination.

Eating the chocolate casing is easily my least favorite part of this indulgence. It’s not exactly waxy but I was expecting a more smooth and creamy experience that was not delivered.

The eggnog filling is pretty good though with a solid hint of nutmeg. While having a bit more vanilla than ideal it’s nothing to shake a goat at.

Look elsewhere for eggnog chocolates. #ThreeEggs

Dean’s Eggnog Review

Abraham Williams — Sat, 26 Nov 2016 23:58:13 GMT

1/5 eggs: With enough booze anything will taste OK

I’m 90% sure Dean’s Eggnog only exists to be diluted with alcohol. Or at least that should be the only reason it exists. Dean’s Eggnog has some nutmeg in it but so little you struggle to sense the flavor. And once the wax aftertaste hits, you forget all about it.

I’m putting this in #OneEggs. Only get Dean if there is no other option and you plan on mixing it 50/50 with whiskey.

Purchased and consumed in Madison, WI

Organic Valley Eggnog Review

Abraham Williams — Sat, 26 Nov 2016 14:13:26 GMT

4/5 eggs: Organic fun for the whole family

There is no better time for eggnog over-indulgence than while surrounded by turkey trimmings, family, and friends. Dirty plates scattered around the house, children shuffled off to the TV room, and Old Sugar Distillery whiskey corks popping.

Organic Valley is a great choice for a full bodied, rich and creamy eggnog. It has more of a vanilla flavor that most eggnogs but that’s balanced out with the perfect complement of nutmeg.

Organic Valley is a great #FourEggs choice.

Purchased and consumed in Madison, WI

Southern Comfort Traditional Egg Nog Review

Abraham Williams — Fri, 25 Nov 2016 20:21:43 GMT

2/5 eggs: More tapioca than nog

With little to no nutmeg detectable, SoCo Nog comes off as more of a liquid tapioca. It has a strong and detectable vanilla flavor with a small waxy aftertaste.

SoCo whiskey flavored liquor was not included though so maybe with enough “liquid bad decisions” this eggnog will be OK.

Lower end of #TwoEggs.

Purchased and consumed in Madison, WI

Kemps Premium Golden Egg Nog Review

Abraham Williams — Fri, 25 Nov 2016 18:16:15 GMT

4/5 eggs: Rich and creamy with the right amount of nutmeg

In the middle of full Thanksgiving swing, I managed to pick up four of these for $4 at Festival Foods here in Madison, WI. That was likely my best black friday purchasing decision as Kemps ships a solid eggnog.

Kemps comes across as rich and creamy as one expects eggnog to be. There is a good presence of nutmeg while still allowing good wiggle room if you want to refine the level with your own dusting. The flavor is full and not too vanilla tasting but there is a slight hint of artificialness.

Solidly in #FourEgg territory.

Purchased and consumed in Madison, WI